My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
