Pregnant stripper...not hot.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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