i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
