Heybabeimwearingurpanties
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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