My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
being pregnant is like rehab
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
