Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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