So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
