Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
