3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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