he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
She's just so happy...and so naked.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize