Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize
