eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
FUCK WHALES
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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