I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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