Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
