If that was your dad, he is hot
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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