I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
