i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
