Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
