You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
