I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
They are going to name an STD after you.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
