We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
