Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
