dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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