Plan B is the new Plan A
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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