I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
