i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
