You really coming over, don't trick.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
my shit smells like andre
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
