i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Of course I have a pirate flag
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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