Grow some girl-balls and come out already
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
