i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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