Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
