That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
