My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I booty called her while she was in labor.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
