this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
