remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
