Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
