If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
the day after is always just damage control
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
