I can tuck mytits in my pants
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
and you said cock pushups were impossible
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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