Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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