Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize