what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
