I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
