Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
