Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
