I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
