Duck Duck Cougar?
only if we run a train.
done.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
