I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize