This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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