I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
