that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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