yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
