Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
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