My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
