I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
