I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
We're using joints as your birthday candles
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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