and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
