What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Randomize
