i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
She made me pour olive oil on her.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
