who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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