Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Randomize
