I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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