Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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