Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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