I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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