quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize