he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
