Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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